Happiness is Matt's Artwork...

creativity + skill + cuteness = matt's buttons and scarf in wonderland minature clay art.

24 Vs. 5

"Slap"! The moment I felt that i knew it was close to over. I felt i was, again, the "not-so-important" person in their lives.

Growing up, I was never my mom's favorite, I can say, maybe my dad's... but my dad has been away since I was born, I grew up not being favored no matter if I'm right, I was never noticed, I thought, maybe this was just my immature days, when everyone favors me and believes I'm not the evil one, except for my mom. But as I grow up, I can say, I have proven this.

And with the last few incidents I felt, maybe God really gave me a life that's beyond full of struggles. First was when I heard my Mom said "mas masaya kami nung wala ka".. This words coming from my her broke my heart and soul.

Then, my sister slapped me because she was defending her boyfriend of almost 5 years and hearing her words, double-broke my heart and soul.

For almost all my lifetime I have been doing my best, to be the best in school and in my career to make my mom proud. I have been fighting, being the bully that I am to defend my sister who is so meek and shy to fight for herself. I remember the days when I use all my influences to fight for her. And now, what do I get? I was traded for a 5-year relationship with a guy who happened to hurt her most of the time. I was just trying to make my sister happier and make her realize that if she chooses "that" path, she'll have a hard time, and I don't want to see her get hurt. That's really it.

I don't know why your sister for 24 years and will forever be your sister, can not choose you and dump you for her boyfriend of 5 years who is clearly making a fool out of her. I don't understand.

... I say, I will never do that, I will never choose a guy over my sister, over my family, and no matter how I love a person, I will not be blinded, because my heart can beat for him but the blood that runs thru my whole body, the blood that pumps to make my heart beat is the same blood I share with my family... and I know, If a guy really loves me, and has a kind heart, he will make sure, I dont have to make that choice at all...

I am proud to say, that with this person I chose to love, He will never allow something as heart-breaking as this, he will never make me choose him over my family, instead he will make sure that I can keep both realtionships happy. and with that I entrust my heart to him... and I entrust it whole heartedly...

Yes, I am hurt, and my heart's been broken for so many times, by people you wouldn't expect to crush it as much as it is today... But I can be happy, I will be happy and I am counting the days...

Let me understand how 24 years and a lifetime can be traded for a 5-year-torturing realtionship...

I hope the Holy Spirit will guide me... Amen.

xoxo.

I fell inlove with the Same Guy 10 Times....

... and I am still falling in love with him.

There's this certain look he has, that certain feisty look that makes me adore him everytime i see him. I dont know what's with him that he's the only person who can really bring out the best in me, in all aspects.

That is probably why everyday of loving, liking him is a challenge that I am very proud to take and win... and that is why I choose not to believe in fairy-tale like love stories anymore, because as far as I can see we may not be like the real prince and princess in your fave love story, but I feel like more than that when he chooses to be with me...

It's hard to explain why when he says "NO, STOP" I follow, it's hard to think why when he says I'm wrong, I know I am really wrong... It's hard to explain why I am falling in love with this guy over and over even if we never had the same things in mind, even if he never agreed to what I say...

Maybe because, what matters to me now, is not how many times he says YES to what i say, not how many times we agree on the same thought, but what's more sensible is when we let each other think that we are individuals, with different minds and thoughts but is bonded by love, love that enables us to see each other's bests.

... I counted the times when I said I love him, and I can't keep track of it anymore, it may be as many as you can think of, but all is meant from my heart... I counted how may times I fell inlove, and my counting never stops...