Exactly 2 years ago, I was in search for the perfect guy, for the feeling called loved and for a commitment I can consider forever, and exactly this date of 2007, my search was over. I found the most amazing guy, imperfect, but beautifully imperfect. I felt that feeling that love is more than just your heart beating, its something that your whole system takes part with. And I knew of that commitment that will be beyond forever, if there is such a lifetime as that. I felt that love is not just a feeling, it is a lifetime commitment.
Exactly 2 years ago, God gave me the best gift, early for christmas, too late for my birthday, but just in time when my heart and mind needs to be nourished, and God never failed. He never fails. I remember, that the same year, 2007, as early as January, I was praying that God give me someone who will take me, forgive my flaws, accept my “bratiness” and love me whole heartedly. I thought, he’ll never come, for its hard to keep up with a not-so-perfect, not-so-good, not-so-girlfriend material like me. But just in the nick of time, when I was about to end praying to Him and just accepting that among His creations, someone like that, is doubly difficult to give me, there came His best gift, in the best package, with the best delivery.
Exactly 2 years ago, I said to myself, that this man, I am with at this moment, is that man I want to be with for the entire time I will be on earth and for the extended time God will give me when I’m with Him in paradise. I said to myself, loving this guy is like making the best choice I have ever done in my life, and I will never regret it, nor I will ever feel I made a mistake.
Exactly 2 years ago, I promised that as I accept this Gift of God, I will forever take care of him, accept him for what he is and love him unconditionally. And exactly the same date, I promised myself, that this heart will beat only for this gift God gave.
But you know, not all gifts are ours forever, even life is just borrowed, so maybe, at the right time, God also chose to borrow him for a while, while He lets us see there’s more to us in this world that we have to discover, He might have ended it so quickly, but He never took it back. More than that heart break, I understood that He is planning something better, for a gift, He’s just preparing to make that same gift extra special, stronger, better and closer to perfection.
I totally understand now, embrace the fact with my whole heart, and can’t wait to see what more is in store. But for the mean time, all I can do, is pray that God binds us still with the love and care we have for each other, let us think and mature for good reasons, and get the dreams we have for one another as individuals, because at the perfect time again, He’ll surprise me with yet the best gift He can ever deliver.
I may not be celebrating for the same reason now, but at least I am happy that after two years, we still share some dreams, some prayers and most thoughts. I am happy that though we ALMOST did it to counting years, we still have a lifetime yet to count together. Remember, that you are always in my heart, and no matter where my destiny leads me, I know I’ll bring you, the memories of you and all of you with me. My love never changes as it grows more and I have no and will never have regrets.
Thanks for being the greatest grace, the biggest blessing and my lottery jackpot! I may not have everything and you know how I am now, but just the thought of you makes me feel that I am blessed rather than cursed. Our relationship, no matter what it is may not be perfect, it is, I can say, full of imperfections but this is the imperfections I will always love. I miss you, and I know that this ALMOST will soon be… AT LAST! Thank you for the love.
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